Thorns FC: Clinched in Dashing Style

Early in the first half of Wednesday’s Houston match the Providence Park screen announced that due to the efforts of the Washington Spirit (defeating Seattle 2-1) the Portland Thorns had clinched a playoff position for the first time since 2014.

It’s pleasing to report that this news appeared to interest the team on the field not a whit.

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Thorns FC went about their business and whipped the blue-and-orange visitors off the pitch 3-nil between excellent team (and individual) defending, an Allie Long brace, and two fairly appalling Lydia Williams goalkeeping howlers.

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Thorns FC: Boston Massacre

In January of 1842 a British army of some 4,000 infantry, cavalry and artillery began a forced march from the Afghan city of Kabul.  A handful of survivors reached British India; the remainder of the entire column was killed or taken prisoner.

This past Sunday the unfortunate Boston Breakers discovered in the person of Nadia Nadim why Afghanistan is often referred to as “The Graveyard of Empires”.

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The Thorns forward’s hat trick was one of the highlights of a 5-1 demolition of the visitors.  The scoreline suggests domination…but the match wasn’t quite that simple.

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Thorns FC: Winless in Seattle

After three tries the Seattle Reign finally took three points off of Thorns FC at Memorial Stadium last Saturday, evening the season series at 1-1-2.

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Now…we’re winless there but Seattle hasn’t won in our house this season, either.  And the 3-1 scoreline flatters the hosts a trifle.  The second Reign goal was the result of a horrendous individual error by Emily Sonnett and the third was a garbage-time Rapinoe strike as the Thorns pushed up to try and wring out an equalizer.  So this wasn’t some sort of tire-fire like the mess in Houston.

The story of this loss wasn’t a team-wide collapse but more a matter of several Thorns having individual Off Days.

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Thorns FC: Second Intermission

USWNT Swe Rio

In the words of MayaTye over at Stumptown Footy…gee, that really worked well, didn’t it..?

The good news is that the Thorns will be getting all of their internationals back except for Christine Sinclair (who plays for bronze this coming Friday).  The…well, I won’t pretend that it’s “bad news”.  For me, anyway.

And you know what that is.

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