Thorns FC: Oi! Oi! Oi!

When my metal hip set off the barrier at Gate 3 Saturday morning I had more on my mind than worrying about that usual nuisance.

I was worried about the Thorns’ recent run of poor form going into a match with the league leaders and that that might lead to yet another loss just like this season’s first meeting or, worse, like last season’s semifinal.

I was worried that the center referee’s penchant for letting rough play go would play into the North Carolina Courage’s physical game and get into the Thorns’ heads as it had in the past.

I was worried that a blowout loss might be lights-out for the Thorns’ 2017 season.

When I walked back out that afternoon I was right about one thing; Koroleva sure did let ’em play.  You can argue about whether that’s good or bad.  But that’s how she usually calls her games, and she didn’t change that day.

But I was wrong; deliciously, gloriously, wonderfully wrong about everything else.

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Thorns FC: Road points and soccer, according to SGT Harris

My Basic Training drill sergeant, SFC Harris, had a very practical approach to life, and that carried over into his outlook on military tasks.  He was always willing to let us try something a little different from what the manuals specified to see if it would work.

“If it’s stupid and it works,” he’d comment, “it’s not stupid.”

For about 90 minutes of the away game in Houston the Portland Thorns’ attack looked pretty damn dull, tepid and, well…stupid.  Then at 90+change Lindsey Horan lined up over a free kick and struck a stunner for the 1-1 equalizer and that suddenly it wasn’t stupid.

But with North Carolina coming in this next Saturday Thorns FC’s gonna have to get a lot smarter most quick smart.  What worked against Houston ain’t gonna work against the league leaders.

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Thorns FC: The Replacements

Today Thorns FC signed two players who appeared in the preseason tournament here in April: defender Kelli Hubly and midfielder Ashley Herndon. The two will serve as “field player replacements” for Brynjarsdottir and Nadim during the period the two regulars are away at the European championships.

In case you don’t remember them both played well during the preseason.

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Thorns FC: Two Steps Back

It was only almost a week – but it seems like almost an eon – ago that Thorns FC put a lickin’ on FCKC through intelligent, aggressive attack and swarming defense.

Three days later the team traveled north to Seattle and, it seems, completely forgot how to do all that.

It wasn’t just the stadium clock that made time seem to run in 86-second minutes.  The Thorns looked slow, too; slow, predictable, and, most damningly, thoroughly beatable from the start and were, 2-nil.

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Thorns FC: Why You Can’t Get No Heat Maps Here

I wanted to post this just because I thought you readers might be interested in seeing behind the scenes of the glamorous soccer-blogging lifestyle.  It’s not just hanging out with the players in trendy nightclubs or hob-nobbing with the wealthy owners.

Sometimes it’s all about the boring, dry stats, baby.  Stuff like this:

That’s from the OPTA stats on the Timber’s match against San Jose back in early June.

OPTA has tons of this sort of great stuff; heat maps, player actions, average team position…while I won’t pretend that “stats tell the story” it helps to get a big picture of a team or a player’s actions, successful or otherwise, to get some sort of sense beyond just your feeling “Gee, seems like Kat Reynolds is getting beat a lot” or “Is Chara pushing up more in the second half, or an I just seeing him more there than when he drops deep?”

As you know, I’ve been using Richard Hamje’s “plus-minus” ratings this season to try and give you a sense of what the Thorns are doing on the pitch.

Actually, I keep more notes that I give you here; the basic numerical PMRs are just the Clif’s Notes version, the digested form, if you will.

(I have no idea whether you care about how I do this, but I’ve come this far so bear with me for a moment and I’ll tell you what goes into these little bunches of numbers.

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Thorns FC: Hard Done By

So far this season Thorns FC and Sky Blue FC have played four halves of soccer.  The aggregate score is 3-3.  But there are halves, and there are halves, and, unfortunately for PTFC the Joisey Goils have had the better of three of the four.

Almost two weeks ago Thorns FC nicked an away win at Sky Blue by hanging on through a brutally ugly second half on strength of A.D. Franch going into Insane Keeper Brute Mode and the inability of SBFC to find the location of the big rectangular frame with the net thingie inside it.

Last Saturday it was Portland’s turn to lose track of that goal thingie, and Sky Blue’s turn to deal out the punishment.

With some help from the Man in Black.

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