Once a year, the following events occur:
1.) The Fourth Round draw for the Lamar Hunt US Open Cup is held,
2.) Merritt complains about it on Twitter,
3.) I (or someone else) accuse him of not taking the competition seriously,
4.) Merritt gives his accusor a nickname. I’ve been “Susan” for quite some time as a result of this.
Do I have my ticket?
Do I have my wallet?
Do I have my keys?
Wait. Do I have my ticket?
Do I have a competent back four and a confident striker?
After a 5-1 win over an expansion side in the Timbers’ 2017 home opener, I’m absolutely sure of the following: I have my ticket, my wallet, and my keys.
I think maybe I take these Timbers games a little too personally.
Our first win this season, 3-1 over Dallas, was so much fun. When it was done, I was laughing, slapping hands, walking on sunshine.
Our second win? 1-0 over NYCFC? No laughter here. This was like 90 minutes in a sauna. When it was over, I stumbled away, exhausted. No high fives, no walking on sunshine. Mostly I just wanted to curl up in a ball and thank God I’d survived.
What a difference a week makes. Last week, we played our best game of the year. This week, our worst. Last week, you, me, and all of Timbers Nation, were giddy and excited, eager to talk about the game, replay it over and over in our heads. This week, it was a bad dream we’d all like to forget.
I finally got to my first game of the year this past Saturday and the team finally won. Now, I’m not saying my presence at the game is the reason we won. I’m just saying that if anyone out there wants this team to go to the playoffs, sending me tickets to upcoming games probably wouldn’t hurt. Just sayin’.
Quick note to all the youngsters out there, just learning how to play soccer: if it’s late in a tie game, there’s a striker behind you who may or may not be onside, and the ball is rolling along right there in front of you, go ahead and stick your foot out. What’s the worst that could happen?
So far this season, three teams in MLS have perfect records. Dallas (3 games, 3 wins), Chicago (3 games, 3 losses), and Portland (3 games, 3 draws).
At least we ain’t Chicago, right?
This column is getting to you a little late and a little short on words. Why? Because I’m sick. Crazy sick. Like, “I was walking around the hospital earlier today with a surgical mask on” sick.